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The Making of a Dumb Datum

Imagine 10,000 years in the future. Two archaeologists are digging a site, and they find the remains of human bones. They take those remains to the lab, perform tests on them, and try to reconstruct the habits and lifestyle of that human. Say those bones belong to me. They are trying to find out my story, how I lived, what I ate, where I traveled, etc. Once they find all the info they need, they toss it into a museum where they store all other such ancient human remains they find. I was essentially one data point to them in trying to understand how humanity evolved over time. Or I can also call myself a “datum”, the singular form of data, literally one piece of information to solve a bigger puzzle. Honestly, I don’t need 10,000 years to become a datum. I am already a part of several datasets people use these days to study many things. So for that objective learner, I am already a datum. Now let me get to how I got the dumb part of it. I have had an interesting and eventful life so far...
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Recent posts

Imposter

A coworker called me today and asked for my guidance with an agentic AI development competition she was taking part in. My first reaction to her request was deeply sincere - "I know very little about all this agentic AI stuff, and I may not prove to be of much use". But I was wrong and I somehow proved to be useful. At the end, she said, “I am surprised you agreed to help us”, and I was like “I am surprised I was of any help”. It turned out to be a useful reminder that imposter syndrome runs deep in my veins alongside hemoglobin.
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Instrument

I stumbled upon a good insight today during my run. It happened because I had a mild strain in my hamstring last Friday, the kind which would have usually sent me into an anxious meltdown. But I succeeded in applying the rational logic that I have had niggles like this before, and based on my past experiences, all I need is a day’s rest to recover from this. It worked like a charm because I was able to run 38 miles in last 4 days and I don’t feel very bad today. That made me think of these things: 1.      My legs are just one instrument I use for running. 2.      They give me feedback in the form of pain, but not every pain is significant. This is still a very basic insight, but I had a lightbulb moment when I applied the same logic to my brain. 1.      My brain is just one instrument I use to live. 2.      It always gives me feedback with positive and negative thoughts, but not every thought is si...
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Miles 1510 - 1520

 1. I managed to gain 370 ft of elevation gain on today's run, thanks to a deserted and steep hill I found in uptown Dallas. BMW Dallas Marathon's total elevation gain is 843 ft, so there is still some work to do, but atleast today is a step in the right direction. I am planning an even hillier route for my long run on Saturday, but the key here is to not go bonkers. I can only assume that tearing my hamstrings while running uphill doesn't seem as fun as it sounds. 2. I am dreaming about packing a picnic blanket, some food and a book in my backpack, take it along with me on my bike ride till white rock lake, find a corner with no humans but a lot of birds and ducks, and just spend my entire day there. I did this last year once and it felt wonderful, as long as I overlook the ants that kept crawling up into my pants.  3. There is this song by Pink called 'Just give me a reason', which has a line, "We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again...
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Ice Cream

I caught myself falling back into my unhealthy eating habits. It all started after my recent race. Despite a PR, I had finished it with cramps and I dropped the pace in the last 3-4 miles. So, it gave way to an unhelpful story in my brain that I am an imposter and cramps are the proof that I haven’t trained well enough. I failed to incorporate strength training and hill repeats in my workouts, which only adds strength to my brain’s argument. So, I sought some escape from these thoughts in the form of an extra ice-cream cone today. But ice cream never gives an escape, it only gives a tummy ache. At least this tummy ache makes me sit and reflect. I did mess up my training a bit, but I also think I did my best with whatever time and resources I had. I am grateful for the 1500+ miles I ran this year, which definitely improved me as a runner and a person, at least by a tiny bit. I might again bonk out and get cramps in my marathon next month, but I now know in advance what to expect. Eati...
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Yellow

I sometimes hear people declare with absolute certainty that so and so is their favorite food, favorite actress, favorite soccer player, favorite 2-legged Pokémon etc. I failed to develop such strong preferences so far in my life, and it makes me think I may be a fraud. If that’s the case, then at least I am a fraud with a good music taste. I may not have an absolute favorite song, but I know for certainty that ‘yellow’ by Coldplay is the song I have played the most in my adult life. I used to think yellow suits my core personality – a consistently funky guitar riff followed by the lyrics that represent pure, unadulterated, and selfless love. I also used to think that I had a soulmate somewhere out there in the world, who would eventually become my favorite person, and that I would sing yellow to her. But again, can I ever know anything with absolute certainty? I am a fraud after all. As a thought experiment, let me assume that there’s indeed one such soulmate. Maybe the role of be...
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Fuck

I read a statement today which says, “cursing is a shortcut for expressing emotions.” It got me thinking about a random conversation I had with my roommate ten years ago, while we both were Engineering students. He told me how the word “fuck” can be used to represent so many different emotions in different contexts. He admired the versatility of that four-letter word, but I was largely indifferent to it and just shrugged it off. But I think I may have finally found my words to his statement. Why do we need an ugly four-letter word to express our wonderfully complex emotions? What’s wrong with the old school way of explaining away each emotion with detailed poems and prose? Is it reducing our ability to be vulnerable and honest with each other? By resorting to the shortcut words, have we as a society lost our ability to communicate emotions in a healthy manner, scarring each other permanently? Forget about all this, I have a more pressing question: Are we losing our ability to...
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Miles 1477 - 1485

1.      I am hitting 1500 miles of running this Saturday! I started with the goal of running 1000 miles this year, and somehow managed to do better than that. I can’t help but think I have been very fortunate this year. 2.      I ran the newly constructed extension of Katy trail, and it had hexagon tiles. I started thinking about other polygons, like septagon (7-sided), octagon (8-sided), etc. I forgot what 9-sided and 10-sided polygons are called. Anyways, geometry was never my strong point. 3.      I wore my Eugene Marathon shirt for the run today and a lady randomly asked me, “oh, are you from Eugene? I am from Seattle.” I gave an awkward smile, uttered a sound that was supposed to convey a ‘no’, and just continued running. It made me realize that my social skills have taken a serious hit in recent times. 4.      I saw either a very large rat or a normal sized opossum while running back home. That’s...
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